Hyperindividualism and car culture explains it all. Americans don’t trust each other (especially not their neighbors) and want to put as much distance between themselves as possible. We’re also mostly NIMBYs (Not In My Backyard) and have very strict zoning laws that prevent commercial and residential buildings from coexisting in the same area. This is great for the auto industry because it means you can’t do anything without driving, and they lobby the government to block any attempt to change things.
Our suburbs are liminal spaces that more closely resemble purgatory than actual communities, which is why everyone who grew up in them is at least slightly insane.
I think part of it is that a lot of straight people who are allies but not as familiar with the queer community feel strange about using the word queer, thinking that it’s a reclaimed slur that they wouldn’t be allowed to say if they aren’t themselves queer. They don’t realize that the queer community has collectively decided that no “pass” is needed for the word queer.