Literally anything. Even the things I still have that use AA and AAA batteries (of which the newest things are my VR controllers which is so stupid…), I have rechargeable lithium ion AAs and AAAs for so I don’t have to constantly buy batteries.

As a kid, tho, I loved 9volts because they had the best connectors. I could take a little battery powered motor apart, glue it to some legos and use it to make machines that moved or did stuff. I almost killed myself once wondering what would happen if I took the cord from a busted fan, wired it to the 9volt battery motor and the plugged the cord into the wall outlet.

It blew up the motor and started a fire. 🤣

Still bleeding internally and will die soon, but he isn’t worrying about it!

Find someone you know who smokes weed and ask them to hook you up with a dealer. Become friends with them. Smoke at their house.

That’s how it worked for me, when I was a teenager, anyway.

straps coconuts on his feet

What about now?

Depends which side of myself is currently speaking.

Death. 😔

It’s really easy if you simply buy a ton of them all at once and just keep them in a cupboard or something.

Use thunderbolts and lighting,

I hear they’re very frightening!

Wake up being yelled at by a lawyer for interrupting his masturbation session during “Ow! My Balls!”

I feel I have a better understanding of written words than film. All my education taught was how to recognize things in literature; not any kind of visual medium. If a director of a movie uses a subtle visual element as a metaphor, I am probably not going to recognize it as such, compared to a similar metaphor used in a book, through text.

Smokin’ latinas and bangin’ Newports, just as God intended.

“Dog, pussy is great.”

ProFile Pic

The only person I purposely annoy is my sister, and by just being extremely facetious if there is any ambiguity in the words she chose when telling me something.

Her: “So I made mash potatoes today…”

Me: “You made mobile army surgical hospital potatoes? That sounds unpleasant.”

Playing Jeopardy and every time I go against my first impulse, I get it wrong. I always end up tricking myself thinking “surely, it’s not that obvious.” But it is always that obvious. 🤦‍♂️

Nothing I do ever satisfies you! What do I have to do to make you proud, dad?! 😩

See Through Pea Soup

You’re telling me those are two different muppets? They look the same to me. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Fine…

With fletching and everything.

My brain turned the onomatopoeia into the opening percussion sounds from Down Under by Men At Work.