I find the wide variety of ace experiences super interesting. For my part, I’m bi and also demisexual (and I have been working hard at practicing not ace-erasing myself).

An example of the interesting variety I mean is how libido and attraction aren’t necessarily coupled, and also that even besides those factors, there’s a spectrum of ace attitudes towards sex. I had a friend who had a high libido, but was also quite sex-repulsed. That is to say that she masturbated plenty, but had no inclination towards sex. This caused some tension when she entered into a romantic relationship with an allosexual woman who had some difficulty understanding an ace person being both sex repulsed and high libido (though tbf, my friend was learning how to navigate the line between enjoyable cuddles and unpleasantly sexual stuff. She also tried to fit into the model of aceness similar to what you describe, but she found that her discomfort with sex was such that it made her feel less close to her partner (in contrast to how our sex-ambivalent ace friends had described their experiences).

No. I’m pretty burnt out.

Everything I read on burnout says that the best (only?) way to treat it is to reduce or remove whatever is causing such chronic, disproportionate stress. Unfortunately, much of my burnout is caused by the most basic aspects of living (partly because I have disabilities that make it hard to reliably fulfill my basic needs, even with support).

Given that cutting out the bad stuff isn’t an option, I’ve been trying to instead add more good stuff to my life, in hopes that it will increase my capacity and thus reduce my relative level of burnout. I’m so tremendously tired though. I’m trying so hard because I do want to live, and there are things I feel I can offer the world. However, sometimes, in my exhaustion, I find myself thinking wistfully about the depression I felt as a young adult — it was simpler when I genuinely and wholeheartedly wanted to die. In some ways, it was easier to be hopeless and merely staying alive for other people.

I’m just tired.

What’s the context of this photo? I.e. what were you making/processing?

Courage the Cowardly Dog is crazy

I disagree with the “complaining about young people” line having coolness increase proportionally with age: when I was a young adult, I often joked about kids these days in a way that seemed to get a lot of laughs. The humour was in the fact that I was a young person talking about young people as if I wasn’t one of them (and beneath that was me making light of the text that, likely due to being autistic, I have always felt isolated from my peer group).

Anyway, I got good at leveraging this for humour, but as I aged, the joke potential expired: I was too old for there to be any irony in saying “kids these days”, but not old enough for it to be cool to complain about young people.

On the bright side, I am sufficiently old to be able to torment young people by misusing their slang. It’s most likely effective if you use the slang in a mostly right way, so I enjoy the challenge of needing to actually understand correct usage of new slang. Amusingly, studying current slang as an outsider is a skill I’m well versed in, given that I had to do this even when I was young.

The thing about labels is that their usage depends on the particular context at time of use. I have a friend who is non binary, for example, but finds herself weary of explaining how someone can be femme presenting, use she/her pronouns, and be non binary. This means that when talking to people who aren’t LGBTQ, she finds “lesbian” is the most effective label to communicate, even though it’s a label she has largely outgrown the truth of. For some people, how they engage with identity labels is quite straightforward, and they present the same labels out to the entire world. For other people, more nuance is needed, and that’s okay too.

That is to say that if you read the above comment and thought “bi but with a type sounds like me, but I don’t want to call myself bi”, that’s fine. Labels like “bi” can help make oneself be more legible to the world at large, but you do not owe the world that. You are allowed to have complexity that doesn’t neatly fit into simple labels, and even if you did strongly identify with a label, you’re not obligated to divulge this freely.

"Always forget the name when I want to remember it. "

Is that a problem you run into regularly?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFDcoX7s6rE

🎵I want it awl, I want it awl, I want it awl, and I want it now🎵

(The song that gets stuck in my head whenever I use an awl)

What a cute floof

As a part time wheelchair user, thanks for this idea for a song

Oh, I love this one, it’s very silly. I find it oddly grounding when I discover that the cause of a problem was me being silly, because I’m already aware that I am prone to foolish errors (as all humans are); when I discover that an unfathomable computer error is actually my fault, it feels like everything is right with the world

“looking for a woman to play out the guy’s MFF fantasy”

Sometimes the driving force is a bi-curious woman. What usually happens is that the boyfriend agrees to it because he sees a MDF threesome as being hot, and sapphic love as being less real or serious. Then he freaks out during/after the hookup because of insecurity he feels when seeing his girlfriend enthusiastically making out with a woman. I’ve learned the unpleasant way that it’s no fun to be unicorn hunted.

The worst part is when they try to hide what they’re doing. I once only found out a woman had a boyfriend and that they were looking for a MFF threesome on the third date. Trying to hide their intentions is gross because it shows they have some awareness of how people don’t like being instrumentalised in this way.

This isn’t really relevant to your question at all, but you reminded me of a (male) friend who is a gynecologist and married to a woman. I expected that the professional context would nullify any potential arousal towards his patients, but what I was curious about was whether this might bleed over into his personal life — i.e. did he still find his partner’s vulva arousing, or does it put him into doctor-headspace. Apparently his profession causes no problems whatsoever in his sex life, because the compartmentalisation is so strong.

He said that it feels almost like conceptual homonyms. For example, in the sentence “up past the river bank is the bank where I deposited my money”, the word “bank” appears twice but means two very different things. Similarly, a vulva is a vulva no matter the context, but the meaning of it differs so much depending on the context that his brain literally doesn’t parse them as being the same.

Like I say, it’s not related to your question, but I thought you might find it cool nonetheless. I would expect that firefighters would show a similar ability to compartmentalise, but perhaps the high-stress context of smelling human flesh may cause it to work differently.

Where did you get those stats from? I wasn’t aware there were places where you could see such granular numbers

Oh yeah, I read about this. I get the impression that they’re out of the proof of concept stage, based on a few places where it’s worked well; it seems like capacity is on its way upwards now

I didn’t get the joke until I read your explanation, but now I do get it, I think that it’s a very funny joke.

I’ve never had things break after doing updates in Arch. Am I doing something different to most people in the “pacman -Syu” memes, or is the likelihood of breaking stuff overdone as a joke

I think that’s okay, because that just means your answer is something like “take some time to breathe and introspect about what I care about when I am given the space to care about stuff”, or “try out a bunch of stuff I didn’t have time or money for before, to see what seizes my passions”.

I mean, it’s not okay — it’s a fucking injustice that so many of us are deprived of the opportunity to explore what we would do if we were free to live as we chose, but it’s okay in the sense that it’s not your fault, in case that’s what you were feeling

I’m not at home at the moment, but I actually have this small one to hand. These three photos are the same tesselation, just viewed [from the front/from behind/backlit]

front back backlit

https://www.codingfont.com/ is a fun, tournament style quiz that compares different monospace fonts. It’s far from comprehensive, but I found it useful to gauge what font features I find stylish and readable

(For the record, my go-to font is Jetbrains Mono)